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Thursday, January 05, 2012
OK, this is going to be a short update.
I think I might be losing my direction a bit. My grades are slipping. But I'm not just talking academically, but in general with my life as well. I'm obsessed. Like oh my fucking god am I so damn obsessed, it's ridiculous and the old me would have slapped my current self until I died. But my gut says it's worth it.
:/
Posted at Thursday, January 05, 2012 by dont-look-back
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Monday, December 05, 2011
Well, okay, an update. Here's an update after sooo long.
I still can't write anything. Like, I have no willpower to write. I don't know what's happened to me. The same thing is happening to my studies. Maybe I've been idle for so long? I don't even know now :/
Will update again one day.
Posted at Monday, December 05, 2011 by dont-look-back
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Friday, July 29, 2011
Well, well, well.
How long has it been? I can't even fucking remember. Blogdrive seemed to have disappeared from my history, so I'm assuming it's been goddamn ages.
Right, where do I start? My mock exams are starting in about three weeks, and to be honest I feel quite excited. I have been mediocre lately, I want to study until I'm half dead so that I can finally feel that sense of satisfaction when I see the disappointed in the eyes of the inferior.
...okay, that's probably too much. But I am excited, and I do want to do well. I'm starting my revision tonight. I've printed out the syllabus and they seem daunting, but I think I can manage since they're all science subjects; no flat-out memory work like History. Bismillahirrahmanirahim.
Life has been OK. I'll be sending out my applications to universities in a couple of weeks through UCAS - which I'm guessing is like UPU, only for UK universities. Top choices are: Cambridge, Imperial, Manchester, Edinburgh, the last spot will most likely be a much less ambitious university. You have to write a personal statement with your application, which is basically like an essay you write to (I'm guessing) sway the admissions people into letting you in. I spent 6 hours on mine and it's only <4000 characters. Characters, including spaces. So it's short, roughly one page. But it's tough as a motherfucker to write, I'm telling you.
I've decided my future, by the way. Chemical engineering. It's diverse and safe, so I like it. I am planning to take a postgraduate degree anyway, so I can always specialise after I'm done with it. If I do good for my exams this November and next June, I'll be off to UK next year. Insyaallah I can get a sponsorship, but I have to secure a place in a high-rank university first. UK is expensive as shit, so that's why I'm only applying to top universities - if I get into any of them, there's a much higher chance of getting a scholarship.
Life as a student is fucking depressing.
Posted at Friday, July 29, 2011 by dont-look-back
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Sunday, May 22, 2011
Okayyy, so I haven't updated this in over a month. Oh well. It's not as if too many things have happened anyway, but I really should update more, even for just the sake of writing something.
Right, so I had my first semester exam last week. It was terrible.
Chemistry was first, and it was downright torture. I don't know whether I've just lost my drive to study or if it really was that hard, but I'm struggling in chemistry the most out of all my subjects. Normally I'd take that as a challenge and in a Barney Stinson sort of way (if Barney strived to be a douchebag nerd instead of a manwhore), tackle the task and study until I get really smart. But now, I'm just going through the motions. It's sad. I got 62% though, so it's not all that bad.
Physics after. I don't know what I got yet, but it's probably worst than chemistry because I must have left about a whole page out for paper 2. Mr Ariff would kill me.
Math was okay. I felt really smart after finishing the paper, but a smart Razzy is considered below average for college standards.
I wish I was back in SMKS9. :S
Anyway, most of my friends are now off to their respective unis. Beginning a whole new chapter in their lives and so on. God, I wonder if the whole new chapter thing is bullshit, or if it's just that I haven't moved on. I don't really feel any different after being in college for ~2 months now.
..And my blog is much less entertaining when I'm being pessimistic.
I'll be back when I become witty again.
Posted at Sunday, May 22, 2011 by dont-look-back
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Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Look in mirror. Punch face. Repeat.
OMFG I AM TIRED. College is very very tiring. Especially since I've only been here 3 weeks and there's already a test next week. Very WTF-worthy, but since I'm in the accelerated course I guess it's to be expected. And normally I would just be pissing my pants out of excitement you know? Cause it's a test and I get to stay up all night, alternating between studying and watching 2-minute snippets of Drew Carey's Green Screen Show as a pathetic excuse for a break. But, I dunno. I kind of want to sleep all day now. College is far more tiring than school.
So anyway, last Sunday I went to Sunway Pyramid with a bunch of my friends, whom I miss very dearly by the way. Sniff. There was a whole drama about Fahmi but who wants to talk about the negatives right? We watched Hop, the movie I've been wanting to watch for ages. I thought it was sooo cute but some of my friends slept a bit during the movie, which makes me kind of sad. E.B. was so cute. He kind of did this thing where he pulled on his fluffy ears AND OMG IT WAS SO ADORABLEEEEE. James Marsden was molten-lava-hot, as expected. And he sung, too. Like a line from a song. But it's good enough.
I'm getting pretty acquainted with Pyramid though. I dunno how I'll feel about it towards the end of the 15 months I'll be here, but for now I'm quite fond of it.
Moving on. We had Chemistry practical today. Neutralisation. I accidentally poured Ryan's diluted solution (that he very kindly offered to share with me after the revelation that I messed up mine) down the sink. I felt... so guilty. SO. GUILTY. He just sort of laughed it off though and we both had to re-do the dilution part. Yarp. I am officially a douche.
Posted at Wednesday, April 06, 2011 by dont-look-back
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Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Today was results day. I didn't go to any of the classes cause I was too lazy and/or tired.
I got what I wanted, which was straight A's. They called my name last though... I almost cried.
Anyway, here we go:
BM: A+
BI: A+
PI: A-
SJ: A
MT: A+
+MT: A+
ICT: A
PHYS: A+
CHEM: A+
I can't believe how pissed I am at myself for that A-.
Posted at Wednesday, March 23, 2011 by dont-look-back
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Tuesday, March 22, 2011
What's done is done, I suppose.
OKAY. So Sunway College is turning out to be quite fun.
Yesterday was my first day, we had orientation for the whooole day. First they took all of us March intake students, gathered us in the hall and we had briefings and blah blah blah. It got kind of boring towards the end but I did get acquainted with a few people, though they're not in A-levels so it's unlikely that they'll recognise me if we meet again.
Then we had lunch break. I just had bubble tea from the food court cause I wasn't feeling hungry and I was still feeling jittery. I got lost on the way to the auditorium I was supposed to be at for the A-levels briefing, but I met another (also lost) student, Eliin, and we safely got to the auditorium in time. I found out that she's from SSC, the same school that my physics tuition teacher, Mr. Ariff, came from.
In my mind SSC is a hellhole because Mr. Ariff is RIDICULOUS. 2 sets of physics papers (papers 1, 2, 3) per week, sometimes more. He also goes through everything super fast and makes fun of every wrong answer I give. And me in general. He makes sure I understand everything though, so my physics knowledge can be credited to him. And The Big Bang Theory. :D
Anywayyy, all the March A-level people were present for the next briefing there. I noticed that there were a couple of foreigners (Eliin herself is Indonesian) among us, so that's always cool to have diversity. We picked subjects after that. I'm in Chemistry, Physics, Math, Econs, and also I'm taking Thinking Skills (not a subject, more like an optional... subject-thingy?). It's a lot but surprisingly my schedule isn't all that packed so we'll see how things progress. I've grown fond of stress anyway.
We had a tour of the campus after that. The library... oh Lord, the library. SO BIG. The campus itself is big of course but the library! I can't wait to sink my teeth in. We saw other stuff too but most were just classrooms and labs. Went home after that.
Todayy, the classes started. My regular Thinking Skills lecturer (Ms. Lay is her name I think?) wasn't here today so we learned about it from another guy (Mr. Leonard. SO FUNNY.) who was filling in. Looks like a fun subject though. Physics was cool, we just listened to the lecturer (Mr. Khoo, cool guy) talk about himself and what the subject was gonna be like. Chemistry, was... okay. The lecturer (Ms. Chin) was nice enough but we immediately got to work by revising SPM stuff though, so that took me a bit by surprise and also I had trouble recalling some of the material. Last period for me was Math class with Mr. Lee. He has 40 years of teaching experience so you know this guy is good. He says he won't start anything until the newer March kids come in though. The only lecturer (for my subjects) that I have not met is Ms. Thanam who will teach Econs.
Anyway, back to what I said earlier, the newer March kids... normally the intakes would be pretty straightforward, with one wave of students coming in but since they fixed the orientation date (21st) before the results (23rd), you know there will be some students who won't sign up until they get their results. So they're coming in on the 28th, after that we'll properly start classes I assume. With luck (and permission from her parents), Yen Yen might come and join me in Sunway so I'm keeping my hopes up about that. The new friends I've made in class seem cool too, hopefully I'll get to know them better soon.
So, that's all I have on college.
Results day is tomorrow. In 17 hours, roughly.
Eep.
Posted at Tuesday, March 22, 2011 by dont-look-back
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Saturday, March 19, 2011
Soooo, I'm updating. It's kind of been a while? Hasn't it?
Went to Sunway today with Aireen and Eva. Watched I Am Number Four and Beastly. Both movies starred the very good looking Alex Pettyfer, so naturally there was a lot of squeeing and OMG-ing. I had actually watched I Am Number Four with my brother a couple of days ago though, so I was able to focus more on THIS:
That's Timothy Olyphant, he plays Henri in the movie. Henri dies. But, of course, during the moments before that happens, he's a super hot badass mofo. Anyway I've only seen Tim in two other things. There's the Hitman movie and that episode of The Office (where Kelly goes "Fuck... me..." immediately upon seeing him). Mmmf but he's so hot. I can't believe he's 42.
That reminds me, Sexy Lexy turns 39 tomorrow. My attraction for much older men is getting kind of fucked up now, isn't it? But it's okay because it's not like I exclusively lust after men twice my age. My taste is just very broad, okay?! GOOD GOD LEAVE ME BE.
On a (somewhat) more serious note, going to Sunway made me think a bit about my money. I don't go out very often but when I do, I have a tendency of pissing it all away in a single shopping spree. And I'm guessing after I start college I'll be going to Sunway a lot. I can't even begin to imagine what will happen to my money if I'm not careful, SO. I'm going to construct a budget tomorrow and I'll stick with it as well as I can.
I really want new shoes, clothes, and bags though.. I saw some really sweet looking bohemian-chic style clothes just now. I really don't do bohemian-chic but FUCK, they'd look rad.
Results is in 4 days. 3 if you exclude today, which you probably should do since it's already about 5PM. So... 3 days. Huh.
Posted at Saturday, March 19, 2011 by dont-look-back
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Monday, March 14, 2011
So results are in 9 days. Seriously. And like, seriously, I don't feel anything. I feel no worry. I don't think I give a shit; that's kind of bad, I'd say.
Mmmh. And college is in like, a week. I'm kind of excited and miserable at the same time, thinking about that. I just.. have a bad feeling? I dunno. I've been idle for far too long and it's kind of taking a toll on my brain. By that I mean I am an idiot now. :S
I'm going to spend today going through my wardrobe.
Posted at Monday, March 14, 2011 by dont-look-back
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Thursday, March 03, 2011
I'm having second thoughts. Like, serious second thoughts about what I've decided.
What I went for was A-levels at Sunway University. Before that, I was already torn between MUFY and A-levels but I went with A-levels since it'll give me wider options later on. But fuuuuckkk, now I'm second guessing myself. Maybe I should have taken MUFY? Because I've already 65% decided that I wanna go to Monash University in Melbourne anyway. I don't know why, really. Just appealed to me. Anyway, MUFY would only take me 9-10 months whereas A-levels, 14-15. (Both are express courses.) That's a 5 month difference. Fuck. Fuuuuuckkk.
And.. I am kind of taking into consideration public universities as well. I don't know why. But I feel like I'll be safer there? I don't know. Maybe I'm just getting cold feet since it's less than 3 weeks away.
Posted at Thursday, March 03, 2011 by dont-look-back
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